Office party

Please enjoy the Christmas party and keep your job

Dear Team

We are having our annual Christmas party in mid-December, we want you all to come. I don’t want another Christmas like last year, where I had to spend my Christmas break sorting out some incident that happened at the party. If you don’t want to be in my office in January, arguing about why you should keep your job, here are some tips on how not to be a tosser at this year’s party:

Don’t bad mouth me, the business or your colleagues

Just because you are in a relaxed setting and may have had a drink or two, doesn’t mean you can use the Christmas party to offload on every person or issue that has ticked you off for the past year. While we might not be in the workplace, this is still a work event, and the same rules about respect and being professional apply. Besides no-one (and I mean no-one) wants hear about that incident at 2.41pm on 17th June near the photocopier! If you need a refresher, the Code of Conduct is in the lunchroom.

Don’t overshare

Now is not the time to spill all your deepest secrets, philosophies on life or your workplace crushes. Neither is it the time to start getting all touchy feely with other staff or their partners. I don’t particularly want to have to deal with a harassment complaint, do you? So keep your hands and your thoughts to yourself.

Don’t drink too much

I’ve learnt from last year. This year there will be a start and finish time, and I’m putting Trevor in charge of making sure there is no excessive drinking. You don’t want to be that guy or girl that thinks they are hilarious, but are just obnoxious. It’s a proven fact, that you are 83.59% more likely to do something really stupid (that could jeopardise your job), if you drink too much. Oh yeah, and don’t drink drive. Trevor is organising taxi vouchers home.

Don’t do drugs

What you do in your own time is your business, but don’t do them at the party. And if you think we won’t know, you’re wrong. You know all those boring policies about drugs and alcohol still apply, I’m still responsible for your safety, make it easier on both of us.

Don’t post offensive crap on Facebook

You know that social media policy we circulated at Easter, it still stands. Whatever you post on social media, keep it clean and respectful. I don’t want to scroll down to see a picture of you mooning the camera while I’m eating fruit loops the next morning. Social media posts quickly become evidence.

There is no silly season leave pass. Everyone wants to relax and have a good time, not end up injured or defending their actions.

Let’s celebrate the great year we’ve had.


The Manager

Special thanks to Claire Huntington from Inspire HQ for this article.

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